April 2008
21 posts
Apr 30th
Apr 27th
1 note
Apr 26th
Apr 25th
Apr 24th
The Dinosaur Soothsayer
Nostrasaurus: I see terrible things in your future.
Dinosaur: What?! Tell me!
Nostrasaurus: I see your skeleton assembled in a large room. There are little creatures - humans, they're called - and they're interested in your skeleton. They're all looking at it and talking about it.
Dinosaur: That's horrible! What kind of beasts would do such a thing?! It is one thing to kill for food, but to kill just to stare upon the bones of the victim? That's brutality!
Nostrasaurus: Oh no, they have not killed you. But they've found your bones buried deep in the ground, extracted them and put them on display for their whole species to observe.
Dinosaur: This...this is terrible news. Is there a way I can kill them first so I might avoid this horrible future?
Nostrasaurus: No. I'm afraid not.
Dinosaur: I...I don't know what to say. I feel so...so helpless.
Nostrasaurus: Wait...I'm getting something...oh...OH! A vision!
Dinosaur: What is it? Will I have my revenge on these creatures?
Nostrasaurus: YES! Because of us - all of us, from the smallest creature in the sea to the largest beasts on the land - they will bring untold harm upon themselves!
Dinosaur: Tell me more!
Nostrasaurus: They will kill each other over us! We will be the cause of their wars and the root of their deepest problems. We will plague them, we will destroy their world and their bodies but they will not be able to purge themselves of our influence.
Dinosaur: This is wonderful news! What must we do?
Nostrasaurus: We must die. Then we must sink into the ground, experience untold eons of heat and pressure before turning into a flammable, black liquid.
Dinosaur: ...Oh. So the dying is part of it?
Nostrasaurus: Yup.
Dinosaur: Huh. Well, as long they won't put my bones on display.
Nostrasaurus: No, they're still going to do that.
Dinosaur: Oh...so we still have to die, then they'll kill each other and they'll still put our bones on display?
Nostrasaurus: Correct.
Dinosaur: Doesn't seem to be an upside, huh?
Nostrasaurus: I guess not.
...
Dinosaur: I wish I had bigger arms.
Nostrasaurus: I KNOW, right?!
Apr 24th
Apr 23rd
2 notes
Apr 22nd
Apr 22nd
Apr 21st
Apr 20th
3 notes
Apr 15th
Apr 13th
Apr 12th
Apr 12th
Apr 10th
Apr 9th
Narcoleptic Cat →
Apr 9th
The Dangers of Being a Television News Reporter →
Apr 8th
Apr 3rd
Google April Fool’s Jokes Galore →
Blogoscoped’s round up of annual Google mischief
Apr 1st